Based on an Article by Jane Marshall, British Nanny
Career Vs Gap Year
For nannies, their job is a chosen profession in which they can practice their learned skills and gain valuable experience with each position to further their career. Nannies may add to their skills base by attending continuing education courses or professional conferences relating to the care, safety and development of children. Like any professional, nannies hope to increase their earning potential as they progress.
Au Pairs are young ladies from foreign countries, aged between 17 and 27 years of age, (the average is 20 years old), who come to the United States to experience the American way of life. Their primary goal is supposed to be a continuing education and cultural exchange, they receive room and board with a family and a small amount of money.  They are then expected to help around the house and to babysit when needed while attending classes.

Salary Vs Pocket Money
A professional nanny works for a family as an employee and as such should have an employment contract detailing her terms of employment. The family is her employer and they are legally obliged to pay their nanny a wage in accordance with minimum wage laws and the Department of Labor and IRS regulations related to overtime. The family is also responsible for paying the nanny’s payroll taxes. Professional, experienced nannies in Houston expect to be earning between $12 and $18 per hour.

Au Pairs are to be considered “guests” and the sponsoring family is their ‘host’.  Guidance as to their treatment is outlined by the U.S. government. The guidelines stipulate that the visiting au pair should be regarded as an equal member of the family and not as an employee. They are paid a weekly stipend and the family must abide by the additional rules, which include the maximum number of hours the au pair may “work”, the program’s educational requirements and the family also pays an upfront fee to cover administrative and travel costs.
Full-time Vs Part-Time
Most nannies’ hours tend to be longer than standard jobs with many working regular 10-12 hour days. This is in contrast to au pairs, who work an average of 25 to 30 hours per week, and who are free the rest of the time to attend classes, meet friends or tour the United States. Only a very few au pairs are qualified for the care of infants, many au pairs have little or no experience, or training, in child care.

Family Vs Children
As explained above, nannies are experienced child care providers and their main focus is the well-being of the children they are looking after. Although some nannies are willing to attend to family pets, and pass a vacuum around the home, it is important to understand that their main focus should be the children. Nannies are not usually considered to be housekeepers, or hired to run errands for the family as a whole. A professional nanny will never want to jeopardize the children’s safety because of being distracted with duties that are not related to the children in her care.

Au Pairs, however, act as an extra pair of hands for families and part of their role is to undertake light cleaning duties and sometimes simple tasks as well as supervising older children when the parents are busy.

In summary, a nanny is a qualified, professional employee, whereas an au pair is a young, unqualified, untrained, foreign girl who lives with a family as a ‘big sister’ to the children and an older responsible ‘daughter’ to a host family in order to help out around the home.

    From Mamapedia/Houston
March 26, 2010by Brenda Thompson of “Meal Planning Magic”

For as long as I can remember I’ve been cooking in the kitchen. I’d have to say it really took off when I was a teenager. I even planned themed parties for my friends and all the food. So it was only natural that when I had children of my own I would include them in the kitchen as soon as I could.

My children have been cooking with me pretty much since the time they could stand up. We started with a simple recipe: banana bread. What kid wouldn’t like mashing up a banana? Now that they are a bit older, they help in lots of different ways in the kitchen. The added bonus: they are much more likely to try new foods (or even old foods) when they’ve helped prepare them!

When I first started bringing my kids into the kitchen, I mainly viewed it as another way to spend time together. But over the years, I have discovered that it is an opportunity for them to learn so much more. They learn patience as they wait for me to measure out ingredients or while things bake or cook until they are done. Vocabulary is boosted when they learn new words for the ingredients you use or techniques. As they grow, practicing reading the recipe helps them learn new words and make the comprehension connection when they see how everything goes together. Math sneaks its way into meal prep too; counting the number of ingredients to include, learning about different units of measurement and more. Practicing teamwork is an added bonus as they learn to take turns with you or with sibling helping too. For young children, motor skills are enhanced when they learn how to pour, mix, roll and stir. New textures are also introduced with the opportunity to notice differences between liquids, dry ingredients, batter and doughs. Other shapes and textures can be noted in the ingredients as well like different types of fruit, nuts, whole grains and more.

Tips for Getting Started:

•Use plastic bowls, measuring spoons & cups and other equipment, if possible.
•Expect a mess! And at the end, use that mess to teach them how to clean up—a valuable life skill!
•Be patient—kids sometimes take a long time and are messier than you might be.
•Bring cooking down to kid level; use a small table to prepare on or provide a chair or stool to stand on.
•Check your moods before starting—your child’s and yours! Choose a time when everyone is well-rested and in a good mood.
•Prepare ingredients in advance, if possible like pre-measuring ingredients, chopping items, etc. This will make things go smoother and more quickly—especially since kids’ attention spans can sometimes be really short!
•Teach children that ovens and stoves are hot and that is for the grown-ups. I taught my children to stand in the same spot on a nearby rug every time I opened and closed the oven—it’s a habit they still practice today!
Are you anxious to bring your kids into the kitchen with you but need a little guidance on what they can do? Here are a few guidelines by age:

One- to two-year-olds can:
Dump in premeasured dry ingredients and help stir
Help shape cookies and other dough
Tell you when the timer goes off
Hand you an egg or other ingredients

Three to four-year-olds can also:
Help measure ingredients
Help crack eggs and mix ingredients
Help pour batter into a pan
Hold a mixer with you (his hand under yours)
Arrange food on a serving plate

Five- to six-year-olds can also:
Help read a recipe
Learn how to measure and mix dry ingredients
Crack eggs and learn how to separate yolk from white
Learn how to safely use mixer or wire whisk
Set a timer

Seven-to eight-year-olds can also:
Read a recipe out loud
Follow most of a recipe with your help and supervision, except placing things in or pulling them out of an oven

Nine-year-olds and up can:
Follow a recipe without help

Now go make some memories and yummy food and get your kids into the kitchen with you!

Brenda is a wife, mom, volunteer, crafter and freelance writer making her home in the suburbs of Houston. She loves sharing ways that everyone can get into the kitchen and learn how to make a little magic along the way. She connects with others through her blog.

FEVER
Fever is rare with a cold.
Fever is common with the seasonal flu.
Fever is usually present with H1N1 in up to 80% of all flu cases. A temperature of 101°

COUGHING
A hacking, productive (mucus-producing) cough is often present with a cold.
A dry and hacking cough is often present with the seasonal flu.
A non-productive (non-mucus producing) cough is usually present with H1N1 (sometimes referred to as dry cough).*

ACHES
Slight body aches and pains can be part of a cold.
Moderate body aches are common with the seasonal flu.
Severe aches and pains are common with H1N1.*

STUFFY NOSE
Stuffy nose is commonly present with a cold and typically resolves spontaneously within a week.
A runny nose is commonly present with the seasonal flu.
Stuffy nose is not commonly present with H1N1.

CHILLS
Chills are uncommon with a cold.
Chills are mild to moderate with the seasonal flu.
60% of people who have H1N1 experience chills.

TIREDNESS
Tiredness is fairly mild with a cold.
Tiredness is moderate and more likely referred to as a lack of energy with the seasonal flu.
Tiredness is moderate to severe with H1N1.*

SNEEZING
Sneezing is commonly present with a cold
Sneezing is commonly present with the seasonal flu.
Sneezing is not common with H1N1.

HEADACHE
A headache is fairly uncommon with a cold.
A headache is fairly common with the seasonal flu.
A headache is very common with H1N1 and present in 80% of cases.*

SORE THROAT
Sore throat is commonly present with a cold.
Sore throat is commonly present with the seasonal flu.
Sore throat is not commonly present with H1N1.

CHEST DISCOMFORT
Chest discomfort is mild to moderate with a cold.
Chest discomfort is moderate with the seasonal flu. If it turns severe seek medical attention immediately!
Chest discomfort is often severe with H1N1.

SUDDEN SYMPTOMS
Cold symptoms tend to develop over a few days.
Symptoms tend to develop over a few days and include flushed face, loss of appetite, dizziness and/or vomiting/nausea. Symptoms usually last 4-7 days, depending on the individual. Diarrhea is common.
H1N1 has a rapid onset within 3-6 hours. H1N1 hits hard and includes sudden symptoms like high fever, aches and pains. Symptoms usually last 4-7 days, depending on the individual. Diarrhea is common

Parents and nannies should look at this arrangement with cautious eyes. Some families supply a vehicle for “on the job” driving, but not all families have a vehicle available for this purpose. What is the risk involved in driving someone’s children on a regular basis and what does it mean when an employer requires the employee to use their own car to do “on the job driving”?

If the nanny’s vehicle is insured for her “personal use” and an accident should occur while the nanny is driving her charges, could the auto insurance company deny coverage? Since this situation could be considered “on the job driving” or commercial use of the vehicle the insurance company could say that the driver, and her passenger(s), weren’t covered.

If a nanny is going to use her own vehicle to drive the child or children per her employer’s direction, it would be wise to increase the limits of the nanny’s vehicle insurance to cover “on the job driving” or to provide the nanny with a family owned and insured vehicle that she has been named as one of the drivers on the policy.

Morningside Nannies consultants ask nannies if they are willing to drive children in their own car. We ask how many car seats their vehicle will accommodate. We copy the nanny’s auto insurance identification card, her driver’s license, and we record the make, model and year of her vehicle. Every employer will receive a copy of this information and a copy of the nanny’s driving record from us. We know that her ability to drive, and the assurance that she is a safe driver, is an important factor in helping her find a job.

I encourage nannies and their employers to check the auto insurance coverage before the nanny drives the children anywhere. The insurance coverage can easily be upgraded and the additional cost of the premium should not be considered the nanny’s responsibility any more than she should be responsible for paying for any other needs of the children in her care.

Houston’s FOX 26 News called me on the 6^th of May and asked if I would do a segment on getting kids to do their chores.   I sent emails to a few of my International Nanny Association  friends that are professional nannies in various cities across the nation asking for their advice.  They shared wonderful ideas with me on the techniques that they found to be most successful.  This article is based on my experience as a mother of  four daughters as well as the advice of six very wise nannies. (See credits below.)

 Where to Start

 First of all, as a parent or nanny, you must set a good example.  Do you have a place for everything and everything in its place, or do you drop your purse or keys on the first surface you find when you walk in the door? Do you leave unopened mail lying around for days on end?  Do you drop your dirty clothes on the bedroom floor or on a chair every evening?  Are your shoes left in front of the sofa over night?  Is your glass left on the end table?  Are you too tired to clean up the dinner dishes before going to bed?  Do you throw a load of laundry in the washer when you realize that you need a certain item the next day?  Do you leave clothes as they come out of the dryer in a heap until you get around to folding the laundry?  Do you let the old newspapers pile up on the floor rather than putting them in the recycle bin?  

 Parents and nannies have long, stressful days and sometimes they feel that they just need to kick back, and leave these daily chores to when they feel a bit more energetic.  This sets a bad example to the toddlers and children in the household.  The kids see that clutter is acceptable and they think this applies to them as well.  It isn’t fair to demand that your children should pick up their toys, keep their room straightened up, hang up their wet towels, and make their bed if their parents don’t do the same.

 Step one is to set household rules that everyone needs to obey. At the end of the day all things are in their proper place.  This includes purses, keys, dishes, toys, dirty clothes, etc.  Step two is to set up daily routines that include all beds are made and bedrooms are tidy before leaving the house, all dirty clothes are in their hampers or laundry room, all wet towels are hung up, and the dishwasher is run and emptied on a daily basis.  Make doing chores a family event.

 These first two steps should be followed by all members of the household if you want to teach your child that keeping an orderly environment is good.  Working together as a family will teach unity and help the children to feel connected. Children thrive on order and feel confused and frustrated in chaos.

 When to Start

 A two year old is able to be taught to put their clothes in the hamper and their shoes in the closet. They can put their puzzle pieces together when they are done playing, they can put their blocks into the box or bin, and at the end of the day they can put their toys into the toy box and see that the room is neat for the next day’s play. 

 A three year old can pull up the blankets on their bed and place their pillow properly.  It may not be perfect, but do not do it for them or “fix it”, it may not look like an adult did it, but with praise the child will learn to take pride in their accomplishment and will try harder to do it even better. 

 A young child will do their chores more willingly if their parent or nanny is present and cheering them on.

 Getting a Late Start? Make it fun.

 Super Hero: Little boys can turn into Super Hero, Chuck the Chore Master, and little girls can be a magical princess as they set about ridding the house of the Messy Monster.  They can morph into their fantasy character by wearing a prop such as a cape or crown. 

 Surprise me:  This works well with the child that likes to please people and be praised.  The parent or nanny can say “I am going to the other room for just a few minutes and I would be soooo surprised if everything was clean when I got back.”  They could further encourage the child by saying, “In fact if I was really happy I might read two books to you, or we could watch a video together, or go out to the park. “  Midway through the time out of the room the parent or nanny should call out:  “I’ll be there in just a few minutes.” And add “What are you doing?”  More than likely that will keep the child motivated and on task.  

 The Inspector:  “Let the inspector know when you are done.”  When the child has finished his or her chore and invites the Inspector to come see, you walk in wearing something silly such as a hat or glasses and in a funny voice you comment on what you see.  The funny voice allows you to give the child correction regarding areas that aren’t done as well as they should be without the child feeling like they are being criticized or lectured.

 Competition:  Games can be a good way to motivate children.  Races to get the work done quickly may start out with: “How many minutes do you think it will take to pick up all the blocks?  I think it will take you five minutes.” Then use a stop watch and be so surprised that he/she finished in less than five minutes.  Or maybe you could ask: “How many books do you think will fit on the first shelf?  I think ten will fit what do you think?”  Then let the child choose a book for you to read.

 The Bag Man: This is a last resort for the child that can’t be won over with encouragement and games! The Bag Man needs to have a bin or paper sack.  Explain to the child that when the room is left messy at the end of the day or the end of play time that the Bag Man may come and take all the toys that aren’t in their proper places.  If you ever stepped on a Lego with your bare feet you understand why someone has to pick everything up!  You will need to set up the rules and you will need to negotiate how the child will win back his or her toys. 

Chores and Rewards

 A task that could have a reward attached to it is something that enhances family life.  The daily tasks of picking up toys and making the bed may be considered part of the household rules, in other words they are expectations, you may want to award a full week’s achievements with stars or allowance.  A family working together has each member doing certain tasks.  When the child contributes by performing additional tasks that help make family life more enjoyable, you may want to consider rewards for this behavior. A parent goes to work to earn money to house and feed their family and a child can contribute to the family by helping out at home. Parents and or nannies shop for food, cook meals, do yard work, take the trash out, do the laundry, etc. The child can have certain chores as well. The reward may be monetary, a weekly allowance or payment per job, or they may be rewarded with privileges such as going to bed later on Saturdays, or an extra story at bedtime, or treated to a visit to the ice cream shop, park or zoo.  Let the child choose what reward they would most like.  All the nannies that I heard from said they use chore charts and a few said that they stagger the chores if there is more than one child old enough to do the same tasks. Here is a website where you will find charts to customize for your family. http://www.activityvillage.co.uk/free_printable_certificates.htm#Pictures_charts   

Chore Jar

 Using a Mason jar, candy bowl, or other similar container, write down various task that the child can handle on a small piece of paper and fold it up.   If Saturday is “chore day” let the child put their hand in and pull out a chore for that week. 

 Chores that Children Can Do

 Laundry: They can gather the dirty clothes or towels and bring them to the laundry room. They can be taught to sort colored clothes from white clothes.  They can fold towels.  They can put their clean clothes away in the drawers. 

 Meal time:  They can help set the table or bring the napkins, condiments, glasses, etc. to the table.  They can help clear the table after a meal. Older children can learn to stack the dishwasher and help unloading the dishwasher if they can reach the counter tops or cabinets.

 Groceries: If they are old enough to wander on their own through the grocery store, they can find certain items on the grocery list and bring them back to you.  They can help carry in the grocery bags and if tall enough they can put away items when you unload the grocery bags.

 Trash: A 5 year old child can have the weekly job of emptying the small waste paper baskets in bedrooms, bath rooms, etc. around the house.  By the age of 8 years they can take the larger kitchen trash out to the trash bin and by 10 years they should be able to bring the trash bin to the curb. Younger children may enjoy being named the Recycling Manager. 

Bathrooms:  From the age of 5 years old a child should be able to wipe dry the counter tops of the vanity in the bathroom.  By the age of 7 years a child could be taught to use “Scrubbing Bubbles” and wipe down the bath tub. 

 Yard work:  Get a child size rake and broom for little ones. Many children feel a great deal of satisfaction from planting and helping to maintain a garden, but they need child size garden tools. Digging and planting is great fun. This will promote parent and child bonding plus watching vegetables grow makes the child really love eating the produce that they helped produce!  They can have the daily duty of inspecting the garden, help with weeding, watch for insects and be rewarded with picking the veggies.

 Pet Care: A child can make sure the pet has water and receives their food at a regular time. If the child is old enough and gentle enough, he or she could be in charge of pet grooming.

 When the job is done, remind the child to let you know that it is inspection time and then using your funny accent you become “The Inspector” and let them know if something needs improvement or that they did a great job and congratulate them.

 Having Responsibilities Teaches Children Life Skills

The child learns:

•  a sense of accomplishment
• that they are an important part of the family
• the importance of setting goals
• to take direction
• the rewards of maturity
• the satisfaction of a job well done.
• rewards and consequences
• a sense of team work
• about time management
• self discipline
• organizational skills
• about structure
• to be self sufficient
• the joy of being of service to others
• self confidence

 Thank you to the wonderful nannies that contributed to this article: 

MaryAnn X. Meddish, Michigan, 2009 INA Nanny of the Year

Becky Kavanagh, Minneapolis, 2006 INA Nanny of the Year

Michelle La Rowe, Boston, 2004 INA Nanny of the Year

Kellie Geres, Washington DC, 1997 INA Nanny of the Year

Tonya Sakowicz, Phoenix, Baby Dream Team

Lisa Rodrigues, Houston, Morningside Nannies staff, Former Nanny

Supplies for Pot of Gold:

• A small terracotta pot, or a black pot you may already have
• Black paint and paint brush
• Easter grass
• Yellow wrapped candies – these can be gold chocolate coins, yellow foil wrapped chocolates, Reese’s peanut butter cups (you can use any color of candy, but yellow keeps with the ‘gold’ theme.)
• Pipe cleaner, all colors of the rainbow

Paint your terracotta pot with the black paint using your paint brush.  Then let it dry. Next, fill you bucket with Easter grass all the way to the top, as it gets pushed down with the candy. Then add in your ‘gold’, filling it to the top.

Line up your pipe cleaners into a rainbow. Bend them into place over the gold.

Now it’s ready for display. But have extra gold on hand, as it doesn’t last long in the pot! Little Leprechauns keep trying to sneak it!

Go to website: www.morningsidenannies.com

Sleeps Like a Baby

Why Won’t My Baby Sleep?

Guest Blogger: Tonya Sakowicz, Newborn Care Specialist

As a newborn care specialist and sleep trainer, I get many questions about babies from feeding to diaper changing and swaddling.  However, the most common question I get is often more complex than the inquiring parent realizes.  The question goes something like this: “I have a baby who is a few weeks old and I cannot get him to sleep anywhere except on me.  If I try to lay him down on his back like all the books say, he just screams and screams and lately it seems to be getting even worse.  What do I do?”

When most parents call with this question, they assume that they are facing a sleep problem.  What they don’t realize is that quite often they are dealing with much more than just a sleep problem.  With a few more questions I can target the real issue, which is usually not sleep at all.  Instead, it is their baby’s tummy, either in the form of acid reflux or food allergies and intolerances; sometimes both.  It is not always obvious that their babies are in pain, but sleeping upright on mom, dad, or nanny’s chest relieves a significant amount of the discomfort caused by acid reflux.  It also provides the kind of comfort that only comes from human touch.

Often these parents report babies who have been diagnosed with “colic” by their pediatrician, if they had discussed the problem with their doctor at all.  Many parents are afraid to bring their concerns to their pediatrician for fear of looking like inept parents or inadequate care givers.  However, this problem does need to be brought up, especially if the pediatrician tries to dismiss parents’ concerns, calls it “colic,” or tells them nothing can be done and they will have to tough it out until it goes away.  The medical community is discovering that “colic” has an explanation and it can be treated.  If the pediatrician cannot help resolve it, a trip to the pediatric gastroenterologist could be worthwhile.  They have the ability to diagnose and treat the pain this condition creates.  Once it is treated, parents often find their babies can sleep well on their own. 

There are a few things to help make the baby more comfortable in the meantime.   If using formula, try switching to a hypo-allergenic brand.  This is especially helpful if the baby vomits a lot, which could indicate a dairy allergy or intolerance and a simple switch in formula could make everyone happier.  Elevating the baby’s sleep surface 30 degrees is another tip to keep acid from coming up into the esophagus and causing the pain and discomfort.  Also, try feeding the baby in an upright position and continue to keep their torso elevated for 30-45 minutes after each feeding.  Avoid laying them flat except when you absolutely must.  These few tricks can really help and make the baby instantly more comfortable.

So, if you are dealing with a baby who is having a hard time sleeping unless he is held, who screams during or after feedings, acts hungry but then after a few sucks pulls away, is congested a lot, seems to have unexplained coughs or hiccups, often arches his or her back and neck and seems to scream a lot, it is worth digging deeper into the cause as these little ones can be helped if diagnosed correctly.

Tonya is a Newborn Care Specialist who does both consulting and in-home sleep training.  She has more than 20 years experience and is a mom herself.  In addition to being credentialed through the International Nanny Association where she serves as the Chair of INA’s Nanny to Nanny Mentoring Program and is frequently asked to speak at INA’s annual conferences.  Tonya was awarded the Professional Childcare Provider of the Year in 2003 and nominated for INA’s Nanny of the Year in 2004 and for the National Association of Nannies Harriette Grant Memorial Award.  She can be reached via http://www.babydreamteam.com.

Q & A with Emergency Physician Dr. Wayne Warrington

 1. When my child has a fever, at what point do I need to seek emergency care?
Fevers are a medical emergency when: they cause seizures, are unrelenting for several days, don’t resolve with appropriate doses of ibuprofen and/or acetaminophen or if the child appears lethargic, in any acute distress or associated with bizarre behavior.

2. Should I take my child to the ER in the middle of the night for an ear infection?
An ear infection, in and of itself, is not usually a medical emergency. But sometimes the associated symptoms, such as severe pain or persistent fever, can be. Getting your child an emergent dose of antibiotics is not necessary. In fact, in
Europe, most clinicians do not routinely treat kids who have inner ear infections with antibiotics. It has been postulated that our overzealous use of antibiotics has caused resistant strains of many bacteria.

3. When should I call the doctor rather than go to the ER?
If your child is not in extremis or having a severe [attack], you can probably take 5 minutes to try and get your pediatrician’s advice. He/she may save you hours of waiting in a crowded Emergency Department!! Of course, if you are concerned that your child needs to be seen right away, then my standard response is don’t hesitate to come the ER.

4. For wounds, how do I know if my child needs stitches?
If you are able to pull the edges of the wound apart or the underlying tissue is exposed, it probably needs a stitch. If the bleeding is profuse and will not stop bleeding after direct pressure, it probably needs a stitch. And remember, there is a time limit on how much time after the injury the wound can be sutured. In addition, every hour a wound is left open equals more exposure to bacteria that can form its own little colony when the wound is finally closed and there is a good anaerobic environment.

5. When is a burn an emergency?
When it causes severe pain, or when the area is charred or white and there is NO pain (3rd degree). Usually, 1st degree burns (without blisters) that resemble a sunburn do not need to be seen immediately. 2nd degree burns are usually severely painful and should be seen by a doctor for analgesia, cool towel wraps, burn cream application and prescription.

6. If my child has never had an allergic reaction before, can he have a severe reaction the first time?
Absolutely! Anyone can be allergic to almost anything at any time, and the first time can be anaphylactic shock!!  Many people wonder why they suddenly become allergic to a food when it was the one-thousandth time they ate or
were exposed to it. It happens!

7. If my child is healthy and has what looks like a seizure, what should I do? What does a seizure look like?
If it is a first time seizure, you should definitely seek medical attention. If he or she has had seizures in the past, then you will know what to look for (past symptoms). There are a few types of seizures, but most of them involve a loss of consciousness, trembling all over and maybe frothing at the mouth, eyes rolled back in the head, bowel or bladder incontinence (not always) and shaking all over. A patient who can talk to you during their seizure or respond to your comments during the event is probably not having a real seizure.

8. How do I know if my child has a broken bone and whether I should call the doctor for treatment or go to the ER?
If you call your doctor with a story like that, 99% of them will tell you to come see me (in the ER) since very few family physicians have X-ray capability and it will be impossible for your doc to tell you definitively if your child has a fracture. If you suspect your child has a fracture, by all means come see us!!

9. At what point should a child with asthma be taken to the ER?
Go to the ER if breathing becomes increasingly difficult despite the use of your child’s home nebulizer system. When a child appears to be struggling to keep awake to breathe, of course you should bring him or her in. I might even call 911 in that case. If you feel the medication isn’t working and your child is working harder to breathe, by all means come see us.

10. If my doctor tells me my child is fine, but I still feel my child is sick, should I go to the ER?
Absolutely!! I am a strong believer that most moms have certain instincts that know when their child is in trouble. When in doubt, call 911.

11. If my child has the stomach flu and is vomiting all day and I have spoken to the doctor, but they say to stay at home, give fluids and rest, at what point does it become an emergency situation?
When the child is unable to keep down fluids, the child looks dehydrated (i.e., sunken eyes, dry lips, decreased or lack of urine output) or is lethargic, seek emergency help.

12. Are there times when it is better to call 911, rather than walking into the ER?
Again, if your child is in extremis, unresponsive, lethargic, or bleeding profusely… call 911.

Bio: Specialized in Emergency Medicine Wayne Warrington, DO graduated from Kansas City University of Medicine and Biosciences-College of Osteopathic Med. in 2002. He now lives and works in Hawaii.

This article was courtesy of Britt Michaelian, author of Safety Goddess Book, founder and CEO of Responsible Family Company, http://ResponsibleFamily.com

Guest Blogger, Kellie Geres, is a veteran nanny with 20 years experience, and lives in the Washington, DC area.   

For the past ten years I have worked for three sets of divorced parents and as the child care provider in these situations it is my job to make the situation as stress free as possible for the child/children and assure them that they can count on me to be there for them.  It is also my job to communicate to the parents the issues I see the children having that are due to the changed family dynamic.  These may be emotional, behavioral, social or developmental.   

I also wear the hat of household manager, overseeing the day-to-day running of two busy households.   If the parents and the nanny all work together on setting up communication and action plans the situation can become a win-win for all, despite the trauma of divorce.

A MESSAGE TO PARENTS

Communicate daily.  In my current position we rely primarily on email communication throughout the day, but I speak with at least one parent personally each day. 

• Email allows me to communicate with both parents simultaneously so they both know what is going on:  schedule reminders, concerns, school updates, doctor/dentist appointment reminders, etc.   
• A household log works well and can be as simple as a spiral bound notebook left on the kitchen counter in each home for the nanny to write about the children’s day and observations. 
• Weekly updates on Friday on how the week went, reminders for the upcoming week, things I want the parents to pay attention to over the weekend, needs of each household, etc. 

One of the best tools for a nanny is a BlackBerry.  It helps nanny and parent to be in quick communication with one another.  For example:

·         I can email the parents to let them know that when I picked up the kids I learned that they have a project due or a test the next day. 

·         Dad may be in a meeting and Mom may be traveling when I receive a call from the school that one of the children is sick and needs to come home.  I can email the parents to let them know what’s going on.

·         I’ve even emailed “call me immediately” when necessary and get a faster response than had I called and left a voice mail. 

Parents, check your attitude at the door.

·         Children pick up changes in mood, stress levels, and attitudes of the adults in their life. 

·         Don’t demean, call names, or belittle your ex in the presence of the children, and advise friends and family to follow this rule as well.

·         Put your egos aside and communicate directly with your ex-partner regarding the needs of the children and the households.

·          Don’t ask your nanny to tell your ex that you can’t take the kids on your scheduled weekend.  You need to discuss situations like this directly. 

·         You may enjoy a close relationship with your nanny, but be careful not to cross the line between friend/confidant and employer. The nanny is there in the best interest of the child/children.

·         Parents, please don’t divulge personal information about your ex to your children or nanny in hopes of winning their love or making them choose sides – that’s like asking which parent they love more. 

Parents, clearly define your work agreement with your nanny.  In the case of working for divorced parents this is even more important, since the nanny has two employers.  Make sure that all parties are clear on the terms of the contract. For example, if the children are away with one parent on vacation, does that mean the nanny has paid vacation time? If one parent comes home later than the other parent, does the nanny get paid a higher salary for the time that she works for that parent?  How will daily expenses be handled?

Keeping Track of the Money for Both Parties. Another matter of importance is household and child related expenses.  Initially when I started my job five years ago, I had one credit card for all purchases.  I would submit expenses by category – mom/dad/children/auto. The parents finally realized this wasn’t working as well for them, so now I have a credit card for each parent/household and one for children’s purchases and auto – gas, maintenance, etc.  This way, each parent is responsible for their own purchases, and shared costs – children and auto – are split.  I am an authorized user on these accounts; I bare no financial responsibility, which should be clearly defined in the work agreement.  This makes my life, and the parents’ lives, so much easier and organized.

A MESSAGE TO NANNIES

If you are a nanny working for divorced parents with shared custody.

• You must be able to multi-task

·         You must be extremely flexible when it comes to last minute schedule changes. 

·         You must be a great communicator – bringing attention to any concerns you have relating to the children or anything that affects your ability to do your job. 

·         You must take initiative.  See something that needs to be done? Bring it to the attention of the parent and either offer to take care of it, find someone to get it done or suggest a possible solution.  The parents will thank you for your help and interest and they will appreciate your attention to details.

Nannies, children feel more comfortable and secure with consistency.  Here is how I handle the organization of our household.

·         Mom gives me the custody schedule and I fill in each date with the parent’s initial on a spiral calendar so the children and parents are always aware of where the kids will be on any given day.  Once I have filled in the month’s schedule I have it copied for each household. 

·         I try to prepare calendars three months in advance in case we need to make plans for something that is coming up in the future.  The calendar can always be edited if dates need to be changed.

·         The children benefit from having their own calendars in their room.  We use simple dry-erase calendar boards.  The youngest child likes to do her own, decorating it and filling in special things she has going on – sleepover at a friend’s, movie release date, shopping trips, etc.

·         When you have two households you need to enforce the same rules and have the same expectations in each.  Keep dietary needs and basic wellness consistent.  A nanny plays a key role in this and should speak up when she has concerns about one of the household’s.  It’s in the children’s best interest to let the other parent know if one parent is not maintaining certain standards of care.   

·         Be sure to have familiar objects that make the children comfortable in each home: favorite books, toys, even toiletries and medications.  While it may seem extreme, and costly, to have duplicate sets of some items, it will save in the trauma of going from one place to the other every week.  It is also helpful when those unexpected schedule changes pop up. 

·         If there is a last minute schedule change, the nanny needs to do everything she can to help the kids feel secure.  Children don’t like change and can react badly or become insecure when faced with sudden, unexpected changes. 

·         Be sure to explain why the change occurred: “Dad had a client emergency and wants to be with you, but felt it would be too late so you’re going to be with Mom tonight.” 

Kellie Geres is a career nanny/household manager of 20 years. She is the 1997 International Nanny Association Nanny of the Year and the current president of ADCAN – Association of DC Area Nannies.  She blogs at AllThingsNanny.com and resides in the Washington, DC metro area. Contact Kellie at allthingsnanny@gmail.com